I’m pretty open when it comes to online dating. I’m not going to say no to a guy if he’s not exactly what I want looks-wise or doesn’t like the same TV shows as me—I’m totally going to give him a chance. However, if he has any of the following listed as his occupation, I’m definitely not swiping right.
- Tech startup employee We all know that tech is an ever-changing industry. Your company might be at the top of the pack now, but all it takes is one other company to start doing whatever you do but better and you’re finished. Tech is a slippery slope and all the people I talk to who works in tech have this weird fear in their eyes that their job might get taken away at any moment. I went out on a date with a guy who worked at a startup and by our second date, he was back to living in his parents’ basement. Case and point.
- Self-employed Having your own business is awesome, but most guys who list “self-employed” are usually hiding something… namely being unemployed. They’re not sure what they want to do as a career so they become a Postmate or get Google ad money from their YouTube videos neither of which are a stable career.
- DJ There’s a reason why DJs are considered the ultimate douchebags. They just wanna party and they’re pretty damn good at it. I have never come across a DJ with a steady girlfriend, it’s just not what their lifestyle is about. I would have definitely dated a DJ when I was 20, but now that I’m 27, I don’t think I could do it unless it was just a side hustle or something he did for fun.
- “Doing film” I can’t tell you the number of guys who say they’re “doing film” but never specify what exactly. To me, this directly translates to “waiting on a producer to pick up my movie” and that’s lame. He’s submitted his screenplay to producers but hasn’t gotten the go-ahead yet and let’s be real, the odds are seriously against him. It’s all up in the air and he’s probably gonna be working at Starbucks until his movie gets greenlit… if it ever does.
- Comedian This is more of a “me” thing, but as a comedy writer, I have this need to be the funny one in the relationship. If I feel like my date is funnier than me, never mind makes a living off of it, I already know it’s not going to work. I’m OK with him making me laugh, of course, but if his jokes are more clever than mine, I just can’t deal with it. Comedians are also often intimidated by girls who can match them in wit and humor, so it’s not like they want to date me either.
- Personal trainer Also known as gym bros, these guys live for the burn. When they’re not pumping their lats or getting ripped, they’re obsessing over their macros and prepping their post-workout shakes. They get so wrapped up in their “routine” that it’s hard to be spontaneous with them. Also, I’m not exactly what you would consider “active.” I dated a personal trainer once and I felt a little bit judged by him about not working out as much as he does. It’s like he could track my body mass index just by looking at me.
- Instagram model OK, there are several reasons for this one. First of all, I don’t think I can be with a guy who’s prettier than me. Second, getting paid for just being you doesn’t sound like it takes very much effort. It just doesn’t impress me and I doubt that he is even that passionate about it.
- Unemployed I think this one speaks for itself. I know better than to get involved with a guy who’s unemployed. It’s only a matter of time before he dumps me for keeping him from “achieving his dreams.” He’s dating right now to fill the void in his life and I don’t want to mess with a guy who isn’t on his purpose, cause he’s only going to blame me for being a distraction to his career.
- Actor I stay as far away from actors as I possibly can. The main reason is that I’ll never be able to tell if he’s lying—that’s assuming, of course, that he’s good at what he does. Also, actors have this need to be the center of attention at all times and I have to say, I like being the more outgoing one in the relationship. The final reason is that he gets to kiss other girls and it’s not considered cheating. No thanks.
- Bartender I actually like bartenders, personality-wise. They’re good listeners, they’re friendly and don’t take life too seriously. The only thing I don’t like about them is their schedule. They go to work at 8 or 9 p.m. and don’t come home until 3 or 4 a.m. They sleep all day and then repeat the whole thing over again. I like dating someone who has the same schedule as me, otherwise, it doesn’t usually work.
