I’m very fortunate to have found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with and we’re doing exactly that — in fact, we’re already engaged. There’s just one tiny problem: I miss the feeling of falling in love. There are fabulous things about being in a long-term relationship, but there are definitely aspects of the early stages that I miss:
- The excitement. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is exciting — quite literally everything. It doesn’t matter whether the date is a fancy dinner or a trip to Burger King, it’s exciting. The early stages of a relationship are a complex and tantalizing dance as each person tries to get to know the other. It makes your stomach drop and your heart race for no reason at all and it’s just wonderful. Sigh!
- The new experiences. I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of things that I’ll do for a guy that I would never do on my own. I’m not huge fan of heights, but if my boyfriend had wanted to take me skydiving, I probably would’ve agreed to it. Luckily for me, he’s more scared than I am! But in all seriousness, a huge part of falling in love is opening ourselves to new experiences. Now that I’ve been with my fiance for a while, we’ve done so much together that it’s hard to find that newness.
- The constant kissing. What is it about new love that has us making out all the time? I think my boyfriend and I probably kissed more in the first few months than in the following years combined. It’s crazy. I’m hoping that the newlywed phase has a similar vibe, though! Making out is kinda the best, right?
- The super-human energy. There’s only so much kissing a girl can take. At some point, it’s time to head home, close the curtains, and get busy. That’s completely normal. What shocks me about new relationships is the amount of energy floating around. I’m all for getting frisky at bedtime, but there’s something about new love that gives us the energy to stay up all night and then go to work without even feeling tired.
- The way time slows. Remember how, as kids, when we desperately wanted something to happen, time slowed to a crawl and when we were having a blast it sped up? Falling in love seems to be the opposite of that. It’s weird, but time seems to slow and we love every second of it. One day feels like a week and we walk around saying cheesy things like, “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” Just typing that is making my stomach turn and yet I’m sure I said it at some point!
- The long, deep conversations. I’ve no doubt that everyone has had one of these long get-to-know-you conversations. They’re the ones where you’ve been talking for hours before you realize how late it is. The ones where you tell him something you’ve never told anybody else. In movies, this conversation usually involves a montage of the couple talking and laughing until she says something serious and he looks into her eyes, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ears. Cheesy AF, but like I say, we’ve all lived through one — and whether we admit it or not, they’re pretty great!
- The electricity. There’s an inherent electricity when falling in love and it manifests in all the little things. Catching sight of him as he walks into the bar; walking through the park, tingling as arms accidentally brush against each other; hugging as though it’s been weeks since the last touch and not three hours… It’s sappy but it’s pretty exciting too.
- The texting. So much texting. Okay seriously, who among us hasn’t spent way to much time texting a new love? When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he was in Germany and I was in Texas. Every time the phone chirped, I would dive toward it, wanting to know what he had to say. The first thing I did each morning was check to see what texts had come in overnight. Looking back now it makes me sound like a really sad person, but I loved it at the time.
- The soppy smiling. There’s so much smiling when we’re falling in love and it just feels good. Smiling makes us happier, healthier, and less stressed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and I still smile a lot, but there’s nothing like that goofy, love-struck smile of the early days that I miss.
- The hand-holding. I used to be completely against hand-holding. I mean, it’s almost impossible to find two people whose arm lengths will match perfectly. And even if they do, walking hand-in-hand is the most awkward thing in the world. As it turns out, when you’re falling in love, holding hands is not only acceptable but pretty enjoyable. Maybe even romantic.
