Taking time away from dating can be tough, especially because I do want a nice partner and a happy relationship. However, I realize that being on my own is good for my soul and even molds me into a better partner. It might be challenging to step away from the dating game, but there are definitely lots of benefits to doing so.
- I can have space for personal growth. Sure, I can definitely grow while I’m with a partner, but I do some of my best personal growth on my own. When I’m by myself and no one’s there to interrupt, I can spread my wings and learn to be even better than I already am. Space is very important because it allows me room to make mistakes and try different things out without hurting anyone else.
- I can get a bunch of time back I spend SO much time on dating apps and going out on dates when I’m actively dating. It’s a total time suck. Some of it is time well-spent, but much of it also feels like a waste. When I take a break I have more time with family and friends and more time for hobbies.
- I can do anything I want. There are few limits on what I can do when I’m on my own. I get to make decisions without thinking about what another person might want. I can hop on a plane at any time. Having a partner can be great, but there’s a special freedom in being alone that I’m definitely taking advantage of.
- I’m not on the hunt anymore. Constantly looking out for someone to be my partner is pretty tiring. It means having my eyes and ears perk up every time I see someone cute. Now I’ve taken a break, I’m not hunting. Instead, I’m trying to treat other people like respectable humans they are rather than constantly objectifying them. I’m hoping this carries into when I do date again.
- I can get space and power to hone my intuition. Intuition is a tricky thing. I think I’m listening to it only to find out I was actually driven by fear. It’s something that needs to be carefully honed. To do this, I get to practice listening to my intuition in the quiet moments when no lovers are around. I get to become familiar with the sound of it and learn to lean in to listen. Being single gives me the power and space to do this.
- I can save money. I’m not someone who thinks that my date should pay for anything, even if it’s a dude. Instead, I offer to pay for the date at least half of the time. As a result of being single, I’m saving money. I’m only spending money on myself when I want it and I’m not going out nearly as much as I do when I’m dating.
- I can do an emotional housecleaning. What’s an emotional housecleaning you may be asking? It’s taking stock of what’s working and what’s not. What habits do I need more of and what do I need to toss? It’s about getting in there to work through the tough stuff so that baggage isn’t ruining things when I do decide to date again. It helps to re-center me and bring me back to the person I’m meant to be.
- I can reassess what I want from love. Right now what I know I want from dating is a little shaky at best. I don’t have the greatest idea about what my boundaries and deal breakers are or what I’m looking for. When I’m alone, I can take the time to really reassess what I want. I won’t have clouded judgment from another person, I can just sit and listen to what I really feel. Then when I do fall in love again, I’ll be able to do it in a healthy way with a healthy person.
- I can recharge my dating batteries. It takes a lot of emotional energy to date. It draws into the reserves and it can get tiring if I’m doing too much of it. When I’m taking a break, I’m giving myself the opportunity to recharge my batteries. I’m recharging them so that I can be okay and so that I can open my heart up again when the time is right.
- I can honor the fact that it just isn’t my time. There are happy couples who are reaping lots of benefits. I’m not saying that being single is the only way to be happy and grow. I just know that right now this is my destiny: taking time to be by myself. I could be upset and feel it’s unfair, but rather I’m choosing to honor the fact that it just isn’t my time to date. There will be a time where I can date in a healthy way. That’s not today.
