9 Thoughts Your Friends And Family Might Have When You Take Back A Cheater

Deciding whether to fix the relationship or walk away and let it burn after your partner has been unfaithful is one of the toughest decisions you’ll ever have to face. A lot of bitter, angry, and confusing emotions are going to come up, and there’s always the question of what people will think if you do take back a cheater. If you’re considering giving the relationship another go, keep in mind that your loved ones might not be down with your decision.

  1. They might think you’re being emotionally manipulated. The truth is that for many people, being cheated on signals the end of the relationship. It would take some serious convincing to get them to try again, and sometimes the people close to you can’t might translate that as emotional manipulation. As long as you’re sure that’s not what your partner is doing, you can try getting them to see your side.
  2. They may think you’re weak. When my partner had an affair and I took them back, it caused a terrible fight between my best friends and I. They thought I was letting my heart get in the way of fact and logic, and they were kind of right. I loved my partner a lot and I felt thoroughly betrayed by the idea of them hooking up with someone else, but despite that, I couldn’t imagine a future without them in it. Call it whatever, but I think it takes serious strength and commitment to stay and work on things after a case of infidelity.
  3. They’ll think you have low-self esteem. This is kind of understandable because getting cheated on is like getting slapped in the face and spit on. So taking back a cheater makes it seem like you don’t value and respect yourself. However, you need to realize that your partner’s affair has nothing to do with you personally.  It didn’t happen because you weren’t enough or because you don’t deserve loyalty. Don’t let it weigh on your self-worth no matter what anyone thinks.
  4. They might think you’re making the wrong decision. It’s natural for the people close to you to feel strongly about you taking back a cheater because they’re afraid the infidelity could happen again. While there’s a real possibility that your partner might cheat again, you can’t predict the future. There’s also a chance that they’ll never hurt you or give you a reason to doubt their loyalty ever again. At the end of the day, you’re the one who is going to have to be in the relationship, so if you think it’s worth fighting for, go for it.
  5. They’ll think you’re only doing it because you’re afraid to be alone. Giving your plus-one a second chance might make your loved ones think that you are scared of starting afresh and forming new connections. If you’re really considering forgiving your cheating partner because you don’t want to be single, you might want to listen to your folks and sort that stuff out. You don’t want to earn a lifetime of pain while trying to avoid short term discomfort.
  6. Your relationship may seem like a sham to them going forward. Once people know that your partner cheated, they probably won’t ever be able to look at the relationship in a good light. They’ll constantly be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even when your partner actually repents of their actions and is nothing short of amazing going forward, your loved ones will still see them as the scumbag who hurt you.
  7. They probably think you’re wasting your forgiveness. Even though I was the one who got cheated on, it took my friends and family way longer to forgive my partner. For months, they were totally convinced that I was betting money on a dead horse. They kept begging me to not risk ending up in the same position again. Some even advised me to cheat back so as to level the playing field.
  8. They may think your partner doesn’t deserve another chance. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right? Not necessarily. Your partner is only human and we’re prone to making mistakes. That they betrayed your trust and screwed up the relationship once doesn’t mean they’re going to do it again. While you might be able to work through the reasons your partner cheated and are willing to try again, the people close you might not see the point of that.
  9. They’ll think you deserve better. Yes, there are people who go their whole lives without cheating, but the fact that your partner strayed once doesn’t mean they’re a terrible human being. Your folks will probably see your decision to take back a cheater as taking the easy way out, but it’s just as difficult to stay in a relationship as it is to leave one. You deserve to be happy, and if forgiving your partner makes you happy, then damn what anyone else thinks.
A girl preoccupied with living her best life even when it's uncomfortable to do so. She spends a lot of time with her thoughts. She hopes you enjoy reading the results of those thoughts.
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