Fairy tales focus on the whirlwind romance phase, but lasting love is built in the ordinary moments. Those couples who make you think “relationship goals” aren’t faking it. They prioritize actions that foster intimacy, even when things aren’t picture-perfect. The good news: these habits are learnable, enriching any partnership willing to put in the effort.
1. They Have Their Own Language.
Inside jokes, silly nicknames, knowing glances… they’ve got all of them in spades. These aren’t childish, they’re intimacy shorthand. A shared world only the two of you fully understand creates a sense of belonging and deepens their connection in a way outsiders can’t replicate.
2. They Make “Micro-Moments” Count.
Rushed “good morning” texts are routine. They send random “thinking of you” messages midday. They leave a goofy voicemail just because. These tiny gestures take seconds but convey “you’re on my mind even amidst the chaos,” which is incredibly powerful. These “micro-moments” can have big effects on your relationship, Dr. Patti Britton notes.
3. They Know the Power of Physical Touch (Beyond the Bedroom).
Whether it’s a hand on the shoulder while passing, a morning kiss on the way to work, or a casual back rub while watching TV, loving couples find ways to incorporate non-sexual touch into their day. This fulfills our primal need for connection and subtly reassures their partner that they’re cherished.
4. They’re Genuinely Interested in Each Other’s “Boring” Life Updates.
They don’t just ask “How was your day?” — they probe for specifics. What’s stressing their partner at work? What tiny triumph made them smile? This attentiveness signals: “your inner world matters to me as much as the big, exciting stuff.”
5. They Say “Thank You” for the Little Things.
Appreciation is like oxygen for relationships. Noticing their partner filled the dishwasher or picked up their favorite snack reinforces that their efforts are seen. This simple act prevents slipping into taking each other for granted, which erodes love over time.
6. They’re Each Other’s Biggest Cheerleaders.
From job interviews to trying a new hobby, they offer genuine, enthusiastic support. This extends beyond words. They might help brainstorm, or simply take on extra chores so their partner can pursue their passion. This unwavering belief in each other is rocket fuel for the relationship.
7. They Don’t Let Resentments Fester.
Even in the best relationships, irritations happen. Loving couples address them quickly. This DOESN’T mean constant bickering, but calmly saying “Hey, when you did X, it hurt me.” Clearing the air prevents small annoyances morphing into major grudges.
8. They Have Rituals That Are Theirs Alone.
From a specific Saturday morning coffee place to a silly song that only they get, these rituals create a sense of “us-ness”. They don’t have to be elaborate; the consistency is more important than the activity itself. It’s a recurring reminder of the unique bond they share.
9. “We” Comes Before “Me” (Within Healthy Limits).
They consider how decisions impact their partner, not just themselves. This doesn’t mean losing their individuality, but having an inherent teamwork mindset. That quick consult before making a big purchase, or choosing a movie they know their partner will also enjoy, shows valuing togetherness.
10. “I’m Sorry” Is Easy to Say (& They Mean It).
Pride takes a backseat. They’re able to admit when they’ve messed up and offer a genuine apology focused on the impact their actions had on their partner, not defensiveness. This vulnerability repairs hurts quickly and rebuilds trust.
11. They Fight Fair.
Conflict is inevitable, but loving couples disagree respectfully. No name-calling, bringing up the past, or storming out. They know the goal is resolution, not winning at all costs. Even in heated moments, there’s an underlying baseline of respect.
12. They Actively Celebrate the Good Times.
Promotions, small wins, even just making it through a tough week – they don’t let these moments pass without acknowledgement. From a special dinner to a heartfelt card, they make sure their partner feels seen and appreciated for their efforts, big and small.
13. They Carve Out Intentional Together Time.
Life is busy, but they protect couple time fiercely. This doesn’t mean fancy dates every night. Sometimes it’s simply turning off the TV and being fully present together. This shows their relationship is a priority amidst all of life’s other demands.
14. They Leave Room for Growth (In Themselves & the Relationship).
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They recognize people evolve, so their love must too. Supporting each other’s individual pursuits is key. They don’t get threatened if their partner tries new things, because that growth also enriches what they bring back to the relationship.
15. Laughter Is a Priority.
They don’t take themselves too seriously. Finding ways to be silly and make each other laugh, even during tough times, is crucial. Shared humor builds intimacy, studies have proven, and makes life’s inevitable bumps easier to navigate together.
16. They Turn Towards Each Other, Not Away.
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When one person needs support, the other instinctively leans in, offering a listening ear and practical help if needed. They’re a reliable source of comfort, knowing that unconditional support is foundational to lasting love.
17. They Know Love is a Verb.
True love isn’t a feeling that washes over you, it’s a choice you enact daily. They show their love through actions, large and small, because they understand that’s what keeps the relationship vibrant for the long haul.
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