The honeymoon phase fades for everyone, but that doesn’t mean your relationship has to become routine or boring. With a little conscious effort, you can keep the passion blazing. Let’s explore small tweaks, that have a big impact on rekindling that delicious spark between you.
1. Schedule actual, dedicated date nights (that don’t involve Netflix!).
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“Couple time” on the couch scrolling through phones doesn’t count, Psychology Today points out. Go out! Try new restaurants, a concert, even mini-golf — something that creates shared memories outside your usual home routine. Getting dressed up adds an extra element of excitement and some of that initial magic from when you were still trying to win each other over.
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2. Surprise each other with little “just because” gifts or thoughtful gestures.
Love notes hidden in their coat pocket, their favorite snack picked up on your way home, a framed photo of the two of you…small, unexpected things show them you’re thinking of them and that making them smile is important.
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3. Start a bucket list together (big and small).
Learn to tango, go skydiving, live abroad for a year — having shared dreams for down the road creates shared excitement. However, in addition to the big stuff, you also include “visit that new brewery” scale items. It’s about having things to look forward to together, which creates that sense of shared adventure. Your relationship bucket list will keep your connection strong (and fun!) for years to come.
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4. Revisit your “how we met” story, but focus on your FIRST impressions of each other.
What drew you to them before you fully knew them? Re-discovering those initial impressions reconnects you with the mystery and excitement of the early days. Bonus: it usually involves some hilarious observations – the outfit they were wearing, the silly thing they said…laughing together is essential!
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5. Make time for extended physical touch that isn’t sexual.
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Throw in some long hugs hello/goodbye, cuddling on the couch without expectation of more, and back-rubs while watching a show. Physical intimacy is about more than what happens in the bedroom. Affection like this recharges your bond, providing a sense of safety and closeness that’s easily lost in the daily rush.
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6. Try something NEW together – the less either of you know about it, the better!
A pottery class, dance lessons, or even attempting to cook an elaborate dish are good options. It’s about stepping outside your comfort zones as a team. That shared vulnerability and the potential for hilarious failure reignites playfulness and sparks a new kind of connection.
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7. Have deep conversations where phones are OFF and the TV isn’t background noise.
Discuss dreams, fears, or the things making you ponder life’s big questions. Your conversations shouldn’t just be about the logistics of who’s picking up the kids or what’s for dinner! Rediscover each other’s inner landscape. It fuels the kind of conversation that made you fall in love early on.
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8. Be spontaneous!
Forget rigid schedules sometimes. Call out of work for a mental health day and do something fun, mid-week road trip with zero plans. Injecting a touch of unpredictability keeps things exciting. It helps you both break out of the ruts you might not even realize you’re stuck in.
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9. Turn mundane tasks into a game, focusing on cooperation.
Folding laundry? See who can toss the most socks into the hamper from a distance. Cooking together? Challenge each other to create a ridiculous dish from random ingredients. Silly, yes, but it’s these shared moments of laughter that become cherished memories.
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10. Make an effort with your appearance – not for the world, but for each other.
Sweatpants are comfy, but sometimes, putting on an outfit that makes you feel confident sends the signal you still find your partner attractive, and you care about making the effort to impress them. The self-esteem boost helps you both feel sexier and more playful. As PsychCentral notes, appearance isn’t everything, but putting in the effort to look and feel your best goes a long way.
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11. Give specific compliments (that go beyond the standard “you look nice”).
“Love how you always make me laugh,” or “I’m still in awe of the way you handled that stressful situation”…notice their personality traits and actions that make you admire them. This feels FAR more special than a generic compliment, making them feel truly seen, which is incredibly attractive.
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12. Flirt with your partner like you did when you first met.
Touch their arm during conversation, playful texts during the day, a suggestive smile from across the room…reclaim those tactics that made the early days feel so thrilling. It’s easy to forget to signal to each other that you still have that underlying desire.
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13. Explore your sexual fantasies – openly and honestly.
Sharing your turn-ons, role-playing, trying new things (with careful communication and consent!)…re-ignites the excitement of discovery within a safe, loving dynamic. It’s easy to fall into sexual ruts over time, so a little adventurousness goes a long way.
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14. Designate “tech-free zones” in your home.
The bedroom could be the obvious place, but even having meals where the rule is no phones at the table can transform the dynamic. Undivided attention is a precious gift, and it sends the message that your partner is your priority above the constant distractions of the online world.
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15. Institute a “no complaining” hour.
We all need to vent…but constantly focusing on negatives creates a toxic energy. Carve out time to discuss only the positive things, big or small. It shifts your focus onto what’s GOOD in your life and relationship, rekindling gratitude for what you have built together.
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16. Travel together, even just short weekend trips.
A change of scenery takes you out of autopilot. You navigate new experiences together, make memories as a team. Travel doesn’t need to be extravagant! Exploring nearby towns you’ve never visited sparks something fresh. It reminds you of the exciting people you BOTH were before life got routine, and that potential is still there.
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