For many people, life seems to just happen to them. They feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and out of control. But that doesn’t have to be your forever reality! You’re a boss, and you have the power to take control of your life.
Ready to try it? Here are some signs that you’re on the right track:
1.. You don’t wake up stressed anymore.
So maybe it’s not all Disney Princess “wake up in makeup with birds singing” in your apartment…but it’s close. When you open your eyes in the morning, you know what you have to do, and that you are capable of doing it. You don’t wake up dreading the day. You can actually get up out of bed ready for whatever the day might hold!
2. You walk a little differently.
You don’t have to speed-walk because you procrastinate and are late again. You don’t walk hunched over, drawn in like you’re trying to hide. Because you know that you’re great, and you’ve got this. You can walk tall, confidently, and with a purpose. You’re sure of yourself, and it shows—even if it’s just on the sidewalk.
3. Your goals are tangible.
Your goals are no longer abstract concepts like “I want to be successful” or “I want to be famous.” You have actual, specific goals in mind now (that you can totally reach). Goals like, “I want to pay off my car this year,” or “I want to stop drinking on weekdays.” Even your loftiest goals feel achievable to you. You know exactly where you want to go.
4. You actually take steps towards those goals.
You know not only what your goals are, but also how to reach them. If you want to pay off your car, you calculate exactly how much extra money to set aside each month. If you want to stop drinking on weekdays, maybe you replace that Wednesday happy hour with an after-work yoga class. (Let’s be honest, it’s more stress-relieving than that glass of wine, anyway). If you want to eat healthier, you spend a Sunday researching healthy meals you’ll actually like. Then you add the ingredients to your grocery order rather than piling your cart full of kale that’ll go bad in the fridge.
5. Trends are tools, not standards.
Just because low-rise jeans may be back in style (why, God?), you realize now that not wearing them doesn’t make you any less wonderful. You’re incredible, no matter where your jeans button. You can look at the coquette, coastal grandma, or any other trend, and see it as inspiration, not as a standard you now have to meet. Trends don’t tell you what to do!
6. You do what you actually like.
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You no longer wear things just because they’re trendy, and you no longer participate in anything just because a friend or an influencer does. If your friend group loves CrossFit, but you know that high-impact exercise is not for you, then you’re not afraid to say no and go on a walk instead. You realize that your enjoyment matters as much as anyone else’s.
7. Your to-do list is manageable.
Before, your to-do list was a perpetual mountain. You would procrastinate putting away the laundry, so the pile would sit on your bedroom floor, its box remaining unchecked. But now, you know what you need to do and you make the time to do it! Your to-do list is just the essentials, and you get all the dopamine boosts from checking it off every day. (Or if you don’t, you have grace with yourself and you know it will get done.)
8. You make decisions on your own.
Maybe at one point, you needed the group chat’s full approval before buying a pair of jeans. Or a two-hour FaceTime with Mom about a second date with the guy from accounting. Now, you know what you like and you know where you’re going. You recognize the feeling in your gut about that guy, and how he fits into the plans you have for yourself. You know, deep down, that you’ll wear those jeans maybe twice. So you accept the date, and put the jeans back on the rack, all by yourself!
9. Rest days are intentional.
You know your body and mind, and you can recognize that you need rest days. So you cancel the brunch, plan takeout for dinner, and decide to rest. Gone are the days of 50-hour spontaneous bed rots because your body told you to take a break and you ignored it until you had to listen. You know when to work and when to rest, and you adjust your days accordingly.
10. You actually have time for a rest day.
You no longer have the mountain of a to-do list every single day, and you’re no longer constantly running behind. You know how to plan your schedule so that rest days fit in seamlessly. You no longer feel any guilt about them, either. Because you know that you have the time, and you’re doing what’s best for you.
11. Your answer isn’t always yes.
You don’t always take the extra shift, or go out for the third night in a row. Your time and your enjoyment are valuable to you. So you don’t say yes every time just to spare people’s feelings or to not inconvenience someone else. People-pleasing is no longer your standard!
12. You don’t need coping mechanisms.
You drink that glass of wine or eat that chocolate cake because they’re good and you enjoy them. Full stop. Not because your boss yelled at you, or because your situation-ship ghosted. You don’t need the promise of an evening Netflix binge to get through the day. You’re no longer afraid of the big emotions because you know that they’re normal and temporary and that you can get through them (and that you can ask for help).
13. You’re not afraid of change.
You now know that change isn’t inherently bad. It doesn’t scare you anymore. In the face of job changes, relationships ending or beginning, you know who you are. And even if a change causes you to question that, you know you can find your way back to yourself. Change is something you can handle and you’re confident it’ll ultimately work out for your good.
14. People start asking you for advice.
You’ve changed, and people notice. Your friends see that you’ve got it more together than ever, that you’re more confident and more driven, and they want to know your secret! They want to know “What did you do, and will it work for me?” Maybe for the first time, people really start looking up to you!
15. You like who you are.
You can look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. You can be alone with your thoughts and enjoy your own company. You’re no longer a hodgepodge of trends, uncertainty, and your dad’s expectations. You are the kind of person you always wanted to be—a person who has drive, confidence, and likes themselves. You may still have your share of problems because that’s life, but a lack of self-love is not one of them.
16. You go to sleep faster.
You’re not lying awake worrying about what’s not in your control. You just focus on what is and know you can handle it. In fact, you can’t focus on anything for too long because you’re tired or rather, “happy tired”—the kind that caps a day of working toward goals, liking yourself, and living out your purpose.
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