We all know those conversations with our kids can go from playful to serious in a blink. Whether it’s about bullies at school, a scary news story, or those awkward body changes, it’s natural to feel a little nervous about how to tackle tough topics. But don’t worry, these tips will help you navigate those talks without making things even more stressful.
1. Choose the right time and place for the conversation.
Don’t just spring it on them when they’re running out the door or engrossed in a video game. Find a quiet moment when you can both focus and won’t be interrupted. Sometimes, doing something together like taking a walk or washing dishes can make it easier to talk.
2. Be open and honest, but consider their age and maturity.
Kids appreciate honesty, but it’s important to tailor your information to their developmental level. Don’t overwhelm them with too many details, especially with younger children. Use simple language and be prepared to explain things multiple times.
3. Start by asking what they already know about the topic.
This helps you gauge their understanding and correct any misinformation. You can ask open-ended questions like, “What have you heard about [topic]?” or “What do you think about [topic]?”
4. Be an active listener and validate their feelings.
Let your child talk without interrupting, and show empathy for their emotions. You can say things like, “That sounds really scary/confusing/difficult,” or “It’s okay to feel worried/sad/angry about this.” As Psych Central notes, validating your child’s feelings can go a long way in helping them to feel supported and safe to share their true emotions with you.
5. Reassure them and offer support.
Let your child know that you’re there for them and that they can always come to you with any questions or concerns. You can say, “I’m here to listen and help you,” or “We’ll figure this out together.”
6. Use age-appropriate language and explanations.
Avoid using jargon or overly complex terms that might confuse your child. Use simple words and examples that they can relate to. For example, when talking about puberty, you could say, “Your body is going through some changes as you grow up.”
7. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
If you don’t have all the answers, it’s okay to admit it. You can say, “I’m not sure, but let’s find out together.” This shows your child that it’s okay to not have all the answers and that you’re willing to learn with them.
8. Keep the conversation going.
Don’t just have one talk and assume it’s done. Keep checking in with your child and see if they have any more questions or worries. You can also use everyday situations to bring up the topic again, like when you see a news story or hear a song that relates to it.
9. Be prepared for a variety of reactions.
Kids can react in different ways when they hear difficult news. Some might get upset, others might withdraw, and some might even act like they don’t care. It’s important to be patient and understanding, and to give your child the space they need to process the information.
10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
If you’re struggling to talk to your child about a particular topic, don’t hesitate to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or other professional. They can offer guidance and support, and help you navigate the conversation.
11. Focus on the facts, not just your fears.
When discussing sensitive issues, try to stick to the facts and avoid exaggerating or catastrophizing. Share information that is age-appropriate and relevant, and reassure your child that you’re there to keep them safe.
12. Use stories, examples, or analogies to illustrate your points.
Sometimes, stories or examples can make complex topics more relatable for kids. You can use fictional characters, historical figures, or even personal anecdotes to help your child understand the issue at hand.
13. Be mindful of your own emotions and body language.
Kids are very perceptive and can pick up on your anxiety or discomfort. Try to remain calm and composed, even if you’re feeling stressed. Use a reassuring tone of voice and maintain eye contact with your child so that they know whatever happens, you’re in control and it’s going to be okay.
14. Encourage critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
Help your child develop the ability to think critically and analyze information. Ask them questions like, “What do you think about that?” or “How would you handle that situation?” This empowers them to make informed decisions and solve problems on their own.
15. Teach your child how to seek help if they need it.
Make sure your child knows who they can turn to if they’re feeling scared, confused, or overwhelmed. This could be you, another trusted adult, a teacher, or a helpline. Encourage them to speak up if they need support.
16. Remember that communication is a two-way street.
Don’t just lecture your child or talk at them. Encourage them to ask questions, share their thoughts and feelings, and participate in the conversation. This helps build trust and understanding, and makes it easier to tackle tough topics in the future, UNICEF explains.
