Guys, society throws a lot at you. You’re expected to be financially stable, tough, in control, unemotional, and maintain composure, among other things. But that can hold you back from embracing all your feelings, which can affect your relationships and mental health. The good news? These are just expectations, and you don’t have to conform to them. Here are 15 tips to help you break free from some traditional ideas and become a more emotionally mature guy.
1. Become more self-aware.
Let’s deal with the big one first—understand yourself! How do your emotions affect your thoughts and actions? Labeling your emotions and understanding their origin is the foundation for emotional intelligence. This can help you understand your feelings, behaviors, and patterns, allowing you to manage them. Journaling, meditating, or even taking nature walks can be helpful tools to understand your inner world.
2. Manage your emotions.
Ever wish you could just press pause on moments of intense emotions? We all know the feeling! Managing emotions is a superpower you should aim to have. It can help you stay calm even in tough situations. How can you achieve this? By identifying your triggers and learning how to deal with them, pausing and taking some deep breaths when emotions are intense, and finding healthy outlets.
3. Speak up!
Traditional masculinity often discourages men from talking about their feelings, which can make it difficult for them to communicate freely. Actually, it’s much easier for men to speak up for others than to speak up for themselves. However, you need to be brave and speak your truth. Put your head up high, express what’s going on deep down, and share your experiences. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s always worth it.
4. Take responsibility for your actions.
Listen, nobody’s perfect! We all make mistakes, but it’s what we learn from the mistakes that matter. My advice? Reflect on where you went wrong (what was your role in the situation?), accept your mistake, apologize when necessary, be kind to yourself, and move on. Remember, mistakes are part of learning and growing.
5. Set healthy boundaries.
Setting boundaries is like drawing an invisible fence around yourself. It lets you control who gets close emotionally and protects your energy. Learn to politely decline requests that don’t sit right with you without feeling guilty. This leads to healthier and stronger relationships.
6. Practice empathy.
Empathy is often seen as a feminine trait, but it’s a crucial aspect of emotional maturity for men. Imagine a friend losing their job. Traditionally, men might be told to “tough it out.” However, with empathy, you can feel their disappointment and stress alongside them. This fosters a deep connection and allows you to offer support, strengthening your bond. Empathy allows you to build stronger relationships – both personal and professional.
7. Challenge toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is when a man displays behaviors or attitudes such as aggression, emotional suppression, and dominance. Its impact can affect relationships, mental health, behavior patterns, and self-worth. Therefore, it’s important to challenge this ideology. Open up, cry, and ask for help—these are all signs of self-awareness, humility, and a willingness to improve yourself.
8. Create a self-care plan.
When was the last time you took some time off to unwind? Self-care isn’t only about taking time to relax; it’s about engaging in activities and practices that can improve your physical, emotional, and mental health. This might involve things like exercising, spending time in nature, spending quality time with loved ones, journaling, painting, meditation, or getting adequate sleep. A self-care routine can help you manage your emotions and allow you to show up as your best self in all areas of your life.
9. Practice self-reflection.
Self-reflection is about examining your emotions and behavior—why do you feel and act the way you do? It can be as simple as taking the time to reflect on why a certain task feels overwhelming. For instance, let’s say you have a big project you need to work on and every time you think of it your chest tightens. This is where self-reflection comes in and you start wondering “Why does this task feel so overwhelming?” You may realize it’s because you’re afraid of failure or maybe you just don’t know where to start. Self-reflection will help you dig deep under the surface to understand what’s going on.
10. Be resilient.
Resilience is being able to bounce back from challenges because guess what? Tough times never last but tough people do. Being resilient doesn’t mean you won’t be affected by the challenges life throws at you. It means you’ll be able to use your inner strength and support from others to process and recover from setbacks. Therefore, always have a positive mindset even in difficult times. As you face and overcome challenges, you learn and grow.
11. Seek support.
You might think that asking for help is hard, but so is being a lone wolf. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, in fact, it shows strength and maturity. Lean on your close friends and family for support. Talk to a professional if you have to. Most people are willing to help, so don’t be afraid to ask.
12. Be grateful.
Appreciate all the good things happening in your life, big or small. Did you wake up on the right side of the bed? Did you mess up somewhere and learn a good lesson from your mistake? Have a gratitude list and remind yourself every day of the things you’re thankful for. Gratitude can improve your psychological well-being, improve your self-esteem, and improve your satisfaction with daily life. In addition, express gratitude to others because it can strengthen your relationships.
13. Practice healthy coping skills.
Eat healthy, say your affirmations, exercise, read books, meditate, and get quality sleep. Healthy coping contributes to long-term emotional well-being. On the other hand, unhealthy coping such as substance abuse, self-harm, aggression, isolation, unhealthy eating, or overworking can offer short-term relief, but it’s not good for your mental and physical health in the long run.
14. Explore opportunities for personal growth.
Make learning your lifelong pursuit. Read books on mental health, listen to psychology podcasts, join support groups, volunteer or help others in your community, have a mentor, or attend workshops. These activities are opportunities for growth, and self-reflection, and can help you gain insights into your own journey.
15. Give yourself some grace.
Everyone messes up from time to time, When you mess up, give yourself a friendly pat—it’s okay to acknowledge your struggles and imperfections without beating yourself up over them. When you show yourself kindness and understanding, you’ll be much better equipped to handle challenges.
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