Everybody needs somebody—or do they? Some individuals prefer their own company and choose to live their lives solo. Whether this means avoiding relationships and friendships or moving to a remote location where they can live peacefully with nature, these people seem to know something we don’t. You may not be ready to abandon all of your friends and family and move into the woods, but it may be worth adopting some of the strange habits of people who thrive on solitude. We put together a short list to see if any of these habits might work for you, so read on.
1. They’ve prioritized self-sufficiency.
When you embrace solitude, you have chosen a life where you must be with yourself. Being with yourself means you are the only person who can help you out when things get tough. You must learn to fix that leak and manage your emotions without relying on others. It can be challenging, but ensuring you are a powerful and independent person can be incredibly gratifying and liberating. Self-sufficiency is its own reward, but even more so when you choose to live in solitude.
2. They don’t chase or settle.
None of us can say we haven’t run back to a toxic ex because we were lonely or kept a friend we didn’t vibe with around so that we had someone to go out with. People who thrive in solitude don’t feel the need to do this. They have found contentment in being alone and will not let anyone disturb their peace unless they bring value to their life. They aren’t looking for their perfect match because they are working on being a great person who will attract one naturally.
3. They’ve learned to appreciate everything.
On the other hand, they appreciate it when someone shows them love in ways they understand. Something as simple as a friend making them a cup of coffee, which some might take for granted, can mean a lot when you always have to do it yourself. When you live in solitude, you appreciate little conversations and laughter, and when you return to your state of alone, you can fully drink in that feeling. Letting yourself feel the full effect of these positive interactions, as opposed to seeking more, can lead to feeling more appreciation and love from people in your life.
4. They cherish themselves and their time.
Some might see the choice to live in solitude as selfish or antisocial; however, in the eyes of those who set out to live a solitary life, it is the ultimate act of self-love. You might think choosing to nurture yourself at any cost, sit with your feelings, and give them space can feel like losing out. But in reality, these people just want to invest in healing and know that they need a quiet place dedicated to themselves to do it.
5. They’re focused on becoming better.
We’ve all thought about how productive we could be without distractions, but those who thrive in solitude have decided to take the plunge and see if it’s worth the hype. In choosing to be alone, you are experiencing yourself and your feelings every day, and sometimes, what you experience can be scary or hard to understand. With no distractions, these negative feelings can consume your peace and happiness at an alarming rate, so you have to address them quickly. These people have chosen to consider each and every part of themselves and look deeply at who they are in hopes of becoming better.
6. They still see loved ones occasionally.
Maybe not everyone does, but most will still choose to spend time with family or interact with friends and coworkers in small ways. Most of us imagine running off to the woods, quitting our jobs, and living as a hermit for the remainder of our days, but not everyone goes for such an extreme version. Some people just choose to live alone, keep minimal contact, avoid dating, and only see family on an intentional basis. Choosing this path is still solitude and reinforces the intention of putting yourself and your time first.
7. They know the difference between being alone and being lonely.
Loneliness is wanting company, and being alone is choosing to be with oneself. No one knows this better than people who thrive in solitude. This doesn’t mean that people who choose to be alone never want other people in their lives; it just means that they acknowledge the feeling is often misleading. Sometimes, we seek out others to fill a hole in ourselves, but this will never fix the long-term need, and those who choose to be alone are working hard to find the feeling at the root and heal it with self-love.
8. They make room for the things they love.
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In partnerships, sometimes we must make sacrifices; we give up on our hobbies or dreams to give the people we love a better shot. However, those who have chosen solitude don’t have to. They can enjoy whatever hobbies they want, with no judgment or need to sacrifice, and they can prioritize the things that make them happy. By making room for the things they love, they validate themselves deeply and build up their sense of self, which can be a great source of joy.
9. They make their home a sanctuary.
Living alone is a unique adventure, and I hope all of you get to try it at some point. I loved the 3 a.m. dance parties to whatever trashy soundtrack I liked, the eclectic decor that spoke to me, and knowing that my space was mine and it was safe. People who live in solitude enjoy this freedom to make their house a home, and they often do so with intentions to make it resonate with their true selves. When the world drains you, makes demands, or distracts you from what’s important, having a home base where you can recover is all the more critical.
10. They have cultivated an optimistic worldview.
This study suggests that knowing your core values and aligning with them can reduce stress and anxiety and promote a sense of positivity about life. It’s no secret that doing things that resonate with you can make you feel at peace and happy, but most of us may not realize that consistently striving to be in harmony with your true purpose can make you more positive overall. Those who live in solitude have made it their mission to be in alignment with themselves, meaning they are also more optimistic.
11. They incorporate ritual and routine.
The chaos of daily life can leave us struggling with our emotional state and feeling that there is less meaning to it all. However, a routine has the opposite effect. In placing meaning in the things they do and dedicating time to them each day, those who live in solitude promote a feeling of being in control of their destiny and cultivate self-care. Having a routine has numerous benefits for mental health, and those who live in solitude have plenty of time to iron out one tailored specifically to them.
12. They always try to be authentic.
The person who has chosen to thrive in solitude nurtures who they are. They lift their true self up, show them love, validate, and soothe them when needed. When you feel strongly about who you are, your true self will shine, no matter where you find yourself. Many of us thrive on facades or being a social chameleon to get through the day, but not these people. They have spent so much time nurturing their authentic voice and persona that hiding it would be doing a disservice to themselves.
13. They spend as much time as they can in beautiful places.
Spending time in beautiful places is good for the soul. If you choose to be alone in a place that makes you sad or doesn’t allow you any freedom, you will likely take on those feelings during your journey of solitude. Being in areas with lots of sunshine, fresh air, and beautiful sights is good for mood and introspection. It really makes you feel at one with it all. This is why those who thrive in solitude often take every opportunity to get outside and visit places that inspire them.
14. They’re always learning new skills and improving old ones.
Having a mindset of growth comes first with those who thrive in solitude. You have to make peace with yourself, which can be more difficult if you don’t feel that you’re doing everything you can to be your best. With the extra time you might have spent going out and partying or spending hours scrolling on social media, you can dedicate yourself to self-improvement and growing the skills you need to cope and survive on your own. Whether it be revisiting techniques you learned in therapy for self-soothing or working on saying yes out of obligation, those who have chosen solitude will always look for ways to grow.
15. They align with their passions.
We mentioned earlier that alignment leads to happiness, but it has many other benefits, too. Being alone means prioritizing your passions, listening closely to your inner voice, and bringing its needs to the forefront. In doing so, these people learn valuable lessons about themselves and their values—taking control of their destiny in ways that people who are bogged down by caring for others never will. We all want to feel like we have a purpose, the north star that guides us to where we are meant to be, and those who choose solitude are taking active steps to find it.
16. They’re always preparing for something bigger.
Taking on the journey of solitude can be a challenge all by itself. It’s not easy to consciously prioritize yourself and shut out the noise that distracts us from healing and acknowledging our truth. Sometimes, it may feel easier just to ignore our feelings or go with the flow, but there is something to be said for those who are willing to step out of their comfort zone to be part of something bigger. Growth and transformation are our mission as people, and they can be among the most fulfilling and momentous undertakings we have in our lives. Those who choose solitude are looking at a bigger picture many of us ignore in favor of ease in our day-to-day life, and though it’s the harder path to walk, these people know that there is a great reward waiting for them at the end.
17. Fed up with feeling alone? Attract love by changing your mindset.
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