Sometimes, we all feel unsure about ourselves. But when those feelings get really strong, they can start to control how we live. You might not notice it happening, but you could be doing things to please others instead of doing what feels suitable for you. Here are 15 signs that you might be relying too much on others for approval.
1. The relief is temporary.
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Looking for approval from others won’t make you truly happy. Even if someone you love tells you things are acceptable, it won’t last, and you’ll start feeling unsure again soon. Seeking validation is like putting a band-aid on a problem—it doesn’t really fix things.
2. It keeps you from meeting new people.
Wanting others to approve of you comes from being scared of being turned down. But ironically, acting that way might be the reason people turn away from you. Sure, your loved ones already accept you for who you are. But if you come on too strong when you meet someone new, it might push them away.
3. Failure feels like the end of the world.
When you always look for others to approve of you, it hurts when things don’t go well. Nobody enjoys being told off, turned down, or messing up, but those who don’t rely on others for approval and know their value aren’t as devastated by it.
4. You’ll inevitably burn out.
Seeking constant approval may lead to an excessive effort to please everyone around you. Continuously exerting yourself without intervals of rest can result in feelings of exhaustion. Individuals who consistently prioritize others’ happiness may find themselves susceptible to burnout. Recovering from such a state can be challenging, which is why it’s important to prevent it whenever possible.
5. You’ll get taken advantage of.
If you constantly seek validation from others, you could find yourself going to great lengths to satisfy their expectations. Some people may exploit this tendency for their own gain, if that happens, it’s important to realize it’s not your fault. Nevertheless, it’s a significant indicator that you need to heighten your awareness, as this behavior renders you susceptible to exploitation.
6. You’re easy to manipulate.
It’s important to remember that it’s not your fault if others are mean to you. You deserve respect and kindness, and mistreatment is never acceptable. Speaking up for yourself is hard, but it’s essential, even if it might upset some people. Your well-being and self-respect should always come first.
7. You seek out people who find it hard to share their feelings.
If you had to work hard for your parents’ love, now, you might go after people who don’t show much emotion. Why? Because the part of you who didn’t get acceptance from Mom and Dad thinks if you win this person over, you’ll feel good. But the truth is, those won’t really give you what you need. It’s not because you’re not lovable, though. You can’t make them change or love you more by loving them extra. It’s better to focus on fixing your hurt instead.
8. You can’t make everyone like you.
It’s natural to desire acceptance and friendship, but it’s essential to recognize that not everyone will connect with us, no matter how charming or kind we may be. Understanding this truth can save us from unnecessary stress and disappointment. Instead of fixating on winning everyone’s approval, focus on nurturing genuine connections with those who appreciate you for who you are. Quality over quantity in friendships can lead to deeper and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, it’s perfectly okay not to be everyone’s cup of tea. What matters most is being authentic and true to yourself.
9. You change your opinions to fit in with everyone else.
If you’re always adjusting your beliefs to match those around you, it might seem beneficial, but it’s actually detrimental. It’s not just about being flexible; it’s about sacrificing your identity. It’s crucial to maintain your own convictions. Striving excessively to satisfy others by constantly conforming can lead to a loss of self-respect and authenticity.
10. You constantly need to prove yourself.
Trying hard to show others how valuable you are can be tiring and not satisfying. Your worth isn’t just about what you achieve or if others notice you. It’s already inside you. Instead of proving yourself to others, focus on proving things to yourself. That’s what really matters.
11. You’re miserable.
While it’s nice to have people approve of us, relying only on their opinions can be risky. True happiness comes from being happy with who you are and what you’ve done. Instead of always looking for praise from others, set your own goals and meet them. When you believe in yourself and feel confident, you won’t need others to reassure you. This leads to a happier and more genuine life.
12. You make decisions for the wrong reasons.
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If you constantly seek validation from others about your choices, it suggests that you might have made major life decisions solely to gain their approval. This approach can lead to dissatisfaction because you’re living to meet others’ expectations rather than your own desires. Imagine if those people whose validation you rely on were no longer around; you’d be left questioning the validity of your choices. It’s wiser to prioritize decisions that align with your own values and aspirations, rather than solely aiming to satisfy others.
13. Stress is terrible for your health.
Always needing others to say you’re doing well can make you feel even more stressed. Like, if you always want your boss to say you’re doing a good job, it might make you feel extremely on edge at work. It’s better to believe in yourself and do things that help you relax, like meditation or being outside. When you find a good mix between believing in yourself and listening to what others say, it helps you grow as a person.
14. Your friendships will suffer.
When you always seek approval from your friends, it can make them annoyed. Also, always looking for approval can make your friendship feel not real. Your friends might feel like they can’t be themselves around you, or they might get tired of not getting support back. This can make them not trust you as much and weaken the friendship.
15. You have no purpose.
Without a solid foundation of what you’re striving for, you might find yourself relying on the validation of others to define your worth and direction. However, this dependency on external approval can be a wake-up call, highlighting the emptiness of chasing after validation without a deeper sense of self-fulfillment. It’s important to recognize that seeking approval from others can only provide temporary satisfaction, and true fulfillment comes from having a meaningful purpose that aligns with your values and passions.
16. Fed up with feeling alone? Attract love by changing your mindset.
With our sister site Sweetn‘s simple quiz and mind tools, love is closer than you think. They’ll give you the tools and skills you need to transform the way you date and shift your energy to help you find lasting love. It only takes a few minutes to get started, so check it out here.
