What would life be like without good friendships? They keep us centered and happy and give us support when we feel alone. But, not all friendships are healthy for you. Some drag you down, making your life sad and complicated. Here are 15 types of friendships that aren’t worth your time or energy.
1. The “drama on your doorstep” friendship
Some friends love dumping drama on your doorstep. It feels like every time you speak to them, they have something chaotic going on. It can be difficult to take on all their issues and be a supportive friend who listens to them go on about their problems. Being too dramatic usually means someone is addicted to attention, which can be off-putting. In addition, being around someone who’s highly dramatic can increase your stress levels, negatively impacting your life.
2. The boundary-bashing friendship
If a friend keeps trying to break down your boundaries, they’re toxic. You might politely excuse yourself from helping them plan a party and they’ll get angry with you. You might not be available to spend time with them and they’ll make you feel bad for having a life. They want to walk all over you and take advantage of your kindness. Someone who genuinely cares about you respects your boundaries—they want you to look after yourself, not sell yourself short!
3. The fair-weather friendship
Some friends are only in your life when there are good times. They want to be happy and party up a storm. They don’t want to deal with anything negative, so they’ll bounce when you need help or someone to listen to your struggles. They’d rather pop the champagne than lend an ear. Basically, they’re around when it’s convenient for them because they’re selfish.
4. The “bad influence” friendship
If you have a friend who’s always bringing negativity into your life, you might feel like they’re blocking your progress and personal growth. Perhaps they bring you doughnuts when you tell them you’re on a low-cholesterol diet. Or, they take you partying the night before a big presentation at work. They’re always sabotaging your efforts to improve your life—it’s almost like they want to see you fail.
5. The negative spiral friendship
Although you want a friend you can be serious with, you also want to laugh and have good times. Maybe they’re a chronic complainer, always looking for things to moan about or always looking for the negative in any situation. Whenever you spend time with them, you feel like you sleep for a week because there negative vibes are just so exhausting.
6. The “free therapy” friendship
Some friends behave in an entitled way and expect you to give them advice as though you’re their 24-hour on-call therapist. They want you to make their decisions or solve all their problems—it’s too much! Needy friends who are too reliant on you for support and comfort can create an imbalanced dynamic, putting pressure on you to meet their needs at the expense of your well-being.
7. The “nothing else going on” friendship
One of the most toxic types of friends is the one who only calls you up when they’re bored or lonely. They’ll text you late at night to see if you want to go out for drinks because another friend asked them for a rain check. It’s common for them to take an interest in you when they’re alone and have nothing else exciting going on. But, when their lives are fun and thrilling, they’ll disappear. Ugh.
8. The rumor-mill friendship
If you and your friend only ever talk about other people when you’re on the phone or hanging out, this is a sign that the friendship is toxic. While you might think gossip is no big deal and you’re bonding with each other, it’s negative in several ways. Gossip can erode trust and emotional intimacy in friendships, creating an atmosphere of insecurity and suspicion. You might worry that your friend’s talking about you when you leave the room, and they probably are! It’s sad to base an entire friendship on gossip, as it shows that the relationship lacks substance.
9. The co-dependent friendship
If you and your friend rely on each other too much, it might feel like you can’t function without each other. Yikes. This can lead to a relationship imbalance, with one friend always taking and the other giving. In addition, both of you might have difficulty making decisions or acting independently. You’re relying on each other’s input and approval for minor choices, which hinders your personal growth and development.
10. The jealous friendship
If you’ve got a friend who always seems jealous of your life, they might give you backhanded compliments or sarcastic remarks to undermine your success. This erodes trust and can dent your self-confidence. It also creates tension and conflict, which you don’t need to deal with regularly. Your friends should uplift and encourage you, not make you feel like they secretly want you to fail or be unhappy.
11. The competition friendship
Some friendships feel more like a competition, which is exhausting. If your friend is always trying to outshine you to make themselves feel better, it can quickly turn into a rivalry. Competitive friendships can inhibit authentic communication and connection. For example, you might hesitate to share your struggles with your friend out of fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. This prevents deeper, more meaningful bonds.
12. The bullying friendship
Some so-called friends have bullying tendencies they use to control others. You might feel like your friend’s always putting you down and spreading negative stories about you. They might call you names during a fight or throw insults they mask as jokes. You might feel like you’re always being mocked and made fun of, but it’s not fun and it doesn’t feel good. Although you might care about the person, you could be turning a blind eye to their toxic traits that are bringing you down.
13. The flattery friendship
It feels good to be complimented by a friend, but it has to be genuine. Some friends come across as super-flattering but this is a mask for their hidden agenda. They might give you tons of praise and always highlight your positive traits to make you feel good about yourself to get what they want. Perhaps they’re desperate for your approval or are trying to win you over so they can control you.
14. The flaky friendship
Dealing with a flaky friend is annoying and frustrating. You might feel like the person doesn’t prioritize you, which can be hurtful. It’s difficult to maintain a healthy friendship when they’re always canceling plans or making promises without follow-through. You just never feel like you matter to the flaky friend and it sucks.
15. The zero-empathy friendship
When you try to talk to your friend about a problem you’re experiencing, they’re quick to laugh off your concerns or change the subject. Ouch. It’s difficult to relate to a friend who can’t understand your emotions—this can lead to a superficial friendship that features shallow conversations and a lack of authenticity. Ugh, who needs that?
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