15 Signs You’re A Toxic Man Magnet

You’ve had a string of stressful relationships that you pin down to bad luck in love, but could the problem be the type of men you’re choosing? Here are some signs that you need to break out of a toxic boyfriend cycle.

  1. All your exes hurt you. Your previous relationship ended because your exes were total douchebags. If they all hurt you, took you for granted, and/or manipulated you, it’s a sign that you’re always dating toxic men. It’s time to change it up!
  2. Your exes are all bad boys. Maybe you love bad boys with their adventurous streaks and charm, but if all your exes and guys you like to date fit the bad boy profile, it’s a problem. They might seem fun in theory but in reality, they’re stressing you out. Sooner or later, bad boys are just frustrating AF. They’re called “bad boys” for a reason—they make bad boyfriends.
  3. You lose your mind and your sense of self when you’re with them. You tend to lose yourself in every relationship. When they end and you’re single again, you have to pick up the pieces of your life because you totally neglected it. Ugh. This is a sign that you’re always ending up in unhealthy relationships. You’re supposed to be growing, not stunting your growth.
  4. You’re a fixer. You tend to “fix” your partners. You try get them into rehab, make them like commitment, or help them out during their unemployment. Damn! If all the guys you date tend to have some or other problem, you’re ending up with toxic men.
  5. You’re not friends with exes. You’re not friends with any of your exes. Unless you have a rule not to remain mates with them for a reason, such as that you don’t want to be held back in the past, this could be a sign that your relationships ended on a hostile note because they were so toxic!
  6. You’re always meeting the same guys. You’re attracted to a specific type. This might seem like a good thing because it’s a sign you know what you want, but honestly, if that type is filled with guys who treat you like crap then you need to take some time out of the dating game and really think about what you want in a partner.
  7. You think things will be different. When you start dating a new guy and he shows you signs that he’s a little damaged or full of drama, you tell yourself it’s okay – this time, things will be different. He’s not going to hurt you the way the other guys hurt you. But are you sure you’re not fooling yourself? If you’re ignoring the signs that something’s just not right, you are.
  8. You’re selling support. In your relationships, you’re basically handing out support to your partners at every turn. But do they offer you the same in return? If they don’t, you’re always ending up in toxic setups. Maybe you think that you have to earn someone’s love, but that’s BS. You should be loved for who you are, not what you do. Toxic men will just try to take advantage of your kindness.
  9. You’re lonely af. You always feel really alone in your relationships. It’s not just because you’re not supported. Maybe your partners are distant with you or don’t commit or you feel like you’re the only one really working on the relationship. So messed up. Be single instead!
  10. You’re jealous of single friends. You can’t help but feel nostalgic about being single. Your single friends seem so carefree and happy! It’s normal to feel this sometimes, but if you feel it often, it’s a sign that you’re not in a satisfying relationship because the cons outweigh the pros of being in it.
  11. You’ve started generalizing. You’ve caught yourself saying things like, “You can’t trust men” or, “All men are cheats.” It sounds like you’re jaded about love and relationships, and you probably have good reason to be if you’ve been dating losers.
  12. Nice guys bore you. You’re so into bad boys that the nice guys seem like a snooze fest. But honestly, it could be that dating so many bad boys and toxic guys has made you addicted to drama. When a guy’s good to you and the relationship feels peaceful, you don’t know how to deal with it ’cause you’re not used to it!
  13. You’re suspicious af. You’re quite suspicious of any decent guys you meet. You expect the sweet, down-to-earth and kind guys to be totally playing you. They must have a hidden agenda, right? You’re probably only thinking this because you’re looking at the dating game from behind toxic man goggles.
  14. You fall for the toxic traps. When you meet a guy who’s ridiculously good looking and super charming, you think he’s the type you’d like to be with. What you really should be thinking is, “Why would I need this kind of guy?” You’ll have greater relationship satisfaction if you’re looking for real qualities rather than superficial ones, like honesty, loyalty, and commitment.
  15. Your relationships are more stressful than fun. You know relationships should be fun and satisfying, but honestly, your experience has shown that they’re often just stressful AF. You come out of them looking like you’ve barely survived a war. Ugh. It’s just not worth it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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